My last post is from nearly 2 years ago. Now where I come from that is known as neglect and would have me hung, drawn and quartered. So I have decided to post now whilst I am high on the love of God and his almighty presence...ok that was a lie but if it was true then this post would be seen as acceptable in all civilised societies...except for Birmingham, since they have strange ways there.

I'm not sure what I'm going on about anymore but I can't stop now because I'd look like some kind of raging lunatic and I wouldn't want people to think that. Also my thousands of fans have been patiently waiting for this, I can tell, I get hundreds of emails a day.

Speaking of emails I received one the other day saying that I would be receiving a check in the mail for my recent article in The Sun. I have not received said check yet but I am assured that it will contain nearly £25. Or, if you hail from India, nearly 1 million of your currency. Or if you are from the now extinct country of Democratic Kampuchea then that would be nothing - as money was abolished for some reason.

Anyway, I shall now leave with a joke. I promise it'll be great:

Ok, so it appears I can't think of a joke so heres a picture of a known paedophile